Wednesday, February 2, 2011
tryouts
There he was staring strait ahead as the ball goes rolling at least 10 feet to the right.He blew it. He knew it before he heard the whistle. He knew it before he heard them snickering. He knew it before he got that reassuring pat on the back. But he didnt want it, not now at least, right now he needed himself. Right now he needed to think.So he ran. It was always his best skill runing. His grandpa had told him that at his first game before he passed away. So that's what he did , he ran. Over the fence down the rodes across the lawns and into the woods. His sanctuary, had been since the first time he got hit. No, he had to keep moving, no need to dwell on those thoughts now, right now he needed to run, he couldn't stay still. There he was, he could see it now, the creek, the cliff the clearing, and there his favorite place the rock, were he has spent half of his life thinking, and that is what he's going to do.
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Hey Billy I think u captured the hole failure and sadness aspect of tryouts when you try out for something and mess up, I think it's really cool how yup haunt introduced the characters yet and lastly I think it's really cool that you made this "sanctuary" type place for him to go when he is upset. Thee only thing I had a question about was well what is his name? And his information? The only thing that should be polished would most likely be just grammar and I haven't noticed a lot of issues with it.
ReplyDeleteMeggie